Separated (Connected)

Separated

I’m feel like an unplugged wire
Slowly fading into the background
Feeling different and apart
From everyone else

Even more so now than ever
As things change like the weather
More frequently than ever
I’m changing altogether

No matter how much I try to stay
No matter how much I try to fit
I’m always pulled out and thrown
To the outside looking in

Like a flower who has its place
In the vast world it embraces
It purpose and calling
To bloom for Your glory

Do let me know Lord
How much longer do I wait
To feel like I have a place
In this world You have made

Or maybe I’ll just continue
Changing with each breath
As I take on this world
While I wait for the Next.

What I want.

I don’t want to live on the hard and bumpy road. I wanna be assured that each day I wake, things won’t change. That You’ll still be there. 

How can I be assured that you won’t get angry and leave someday? You say you love me today and the next you’re gone. That is all I want from you. 

To That Girl.

To that girl, her world is loud and full of unpleasant noise. That girl knows that there isn’t a place in the world that could hold a Day of Silence. It doesn’t matter where her steps take her, each step get louder. Cluttered, tangled, indecipherable, noise.

To that girl, her music is everything. That girl knows how to string  notes together and make it her hiding place. But, to that girl, her music isn’t anything, if she loses it to the noise around her.

To that girl the noise really hurts her ears, and she starts to shut out what ever she can. She’s starting to forget the melody inside her. She’s starting to forget what good sounds are made of, and which notes she loves the most.

To that girl, she finds the harshest noise hardest to shut out. They are scaring, obnoxious, selfish and insincere, they can’t tell how how much it’s hurting her. No matter how hard she tries to cover her ears, she can’t deny the pain she feels. And to that girl, it is enough to scare her.

She wonders when will the noise stop. When will it stop progressing long enough for her to take her hands of her ears and listen the noise. How long will it take so she can finally hear the music in all that noise.

To that girl, she longs for a respite. A day where only her music is heard, where her heart song is played. A day where she can go back to the time when all she heard was the inside. But for now, she’s taking comfort in all those soft notes that occasionally slip pass her.

To that girl, that’s all she can do. For now.

 

Undying thoughts

It’s been awhile.

It’s 1.32am here in Singapore. And well, I can’t seem to sleep. I should stop watching Korean dramas at night, cos then my mind will keep thinking and won’t let me sleep. :<

Anyway, I guess it's been awhile since I've blogged. So I though I'd try I now since I have too many thoughts swimming in my head.

I've been thinking. (THANK God I haven’t stopped thinking.)
How scary it all is.

It’s been awhile since I’ve left school. Yes, 2 weeks is ‘awhile’ for me and I’ll explain why.

Looking at the calendar can be the most thought-provoking yet horrifying activity of my day, cos it just shows how much of my days that I’ve kinda, well, wasted.

So I guess I’m making a point that tomorrow is my New Day. The start of a new season in my life, where I’m gonna hold God so close, cos there’s nothing left for me to hold on to. It’s all so scary to be living in absolute uncertainty, that I kinda miss the routines I used to have. They were sure. Definite. Yet not altogether stable. (In contradicting myself. I’m sorry)

There’s nothing for me to hold on to. But where there’s freedom from, there’s freedom to. Now that I’m free from all the demands and strivings of life, I’m free to jump into the plan that God has for me. I’m no longer bound by chains of constant demands and expectations but I can now be the daughter of God that He wants me to be. It’s my job to step into it right?

I shouldn’t be a afraid. But I guess I am.
Starting is always the hardest part of the process. But once I start by bringing Jesus into the boat, I’ll find myself immediately at my destination. Just like His disciples. That’s my faith picture.

You, reading this probably don’t know what in talking about. But I guess you don’t need to comprehend it, I just need to straighten out my thoughts. Thanks for reading nevertheless.

I do hope I can get some sleep soon.

제이레빗 (J Rabbit) – We’re In Love lyrics [Hangeul, Romanization & Translation]

J RABBIT !

Princess.of.Tea

 

제이레빗 (J Rabbit) – We’re in Love

멈춰버린 시간들 속에

Meom-chwo-beo-rin si-gan-deul sog-e

숨어있는 나는 어디에

Sum-eo-it-neun na-neun eo-di-e

우우 우우우

U-u u-u-u

나는 어디에

Na-neun eo-di-e

 

설레임은 늘 그 자리에

Seol-le-im-eun neul geu ja-ri-e

손에 닿을 듯 닿지 않는 거리에

Son-e dah-eul deut dah-ji anh-neun geo-ri-e

우우 우우우

U-u u-u-u

우린 지금 어디에

u-rin ji-geum eo-di-e

 

알 수 없는 기다림

Al su eob-neun gi-da-rim

하얀 꿈 너머로

Ha-yan kkum neo-meo-ro

(또 다른 나를 찾아서 다시 내게도)

(to da-reun na-reul chaj-a-seo da-si nae-ge-do)

우우 우우우

U-u u-u-u

I Think I’m in love

 

까만 밤하늘 외로이

Ka-man bam-ha-neul wi-ro-i

빛나는 별처럼

Bit-na-neun byeol-cheo-reom

아주 작은 떨림도 느낄 수 있다면

a-ju jak-eun teol-lim-do neu-kil su it-da-myeon

아무도 모르게 yes, we’re in love

a-mu-do mo-reu-ge yes we’re in love

모르는 척 지나쳐 볼까

Mo-reu-neun cheok ji-na-chyeo bol-ka

(모르는 척 들키기 전에)

(mo-reu-neun cheok deul-ki-gi jeon-e)

다른 길을 찾아 떠나야…

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Distraction. My biggest giant.

This blog may make me out to be really emotionless, what with the lack of emoticons and informal writing, but honestly, I really dislike emoticons. I mean, they are very misleading sometimes. You can pretend to smile but not actually smiling. Or you can pretend to be nice, but not actually being, well, nice.

Having a blog is like having twitter. Except with unlimited word count and no judging eyes to see it. (aand, no stalkers. I hope.)

I wouldn’t categorize my day as being particularly enjoyable due to the amount of procrastination I have given in today. Kinda sad I forwent going to church because I didn’t really get any work done. A day in a life right?

On a brighter note, this quote really cheered me up today.

“In that still and settled place

There’s nobody but you

You’re where I breathe my oxygen

You’re where i see my view

And when the world feels full of noise

My heart knows what to do

It finds that still and settled place

And dances with you.”

-Edward Monkton 

Edward Monkton is a genius. That is all. http://www.edwardmonkton.com/

This quote managed to be written on my pink post it and pasted in my weekly homework diary. The highest place of honor. It is now my all time favorite quote.

Unlike how it’s intended to be written, I really felt loved by God when I read this. Generally, the first person that pops into peoples’ heads when they read the last line, would be a someone they liked, and would be able to image themselves dancing with them in that still and settled place.

To my surprise, the person I thought I liked, were avidly locked out from my thoughts. My mind created this picture of a father and me dancing. Maybe it was the phrase, ‘still and quiet place’ that trigged this, but something about that picture felt like a memory and not just my mind making images. 

I guess this kinda shows how I really see God in my life.

A Father. A Father to me. My Dad.

And if you take the Almighty, all-knowing, all-powerful, distant, God-like image away from the picture, He is really just my dad.

Picture a father, dancing, with His daughter. Prancing and leaping as He twirls His Beloved around and a squeal of joy leaps from her mouth. 

And that is my faith picture. It aptly describes my relationship with God and how I want my relationship with my own father to be. It gives me the chills just reading the last line. And part of me truly believes this poem is divinely inspired.

Til next time, (really never gets old)

Pushing my thoughts into words instead of pulling my words from my thoughts.

Inner Psyche Of A Not-So Teen girl

I enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing, and a simple reason why I’m blogging is to improve my english as much as I can. I learnt that being able to write fantastic words descriptively doesn’t cut it. Writing takes a more personal road and stand when it comes to blogging and if I could get anything from writing a blog, I’d wish that people understand and feel, real and raw words. Expressing yourself earns you a separate reward, but you know you’re a greater artist when you learn that people that hear and read your work, understand the wholesome heart behind it. It’s basically rewriting yourself and your life in words that people can take in. Honesty is my policy when it comes to writing, and i truly admire people who have the ability to describe their worsts in the best way they know how. Mighty respect.

Besides that, this blog is a product of pure impulse. Or rather extreme procrastination from the work I’ve received in school. But either way, they’re about the same.

So, I guess I’ve laid out my vision for myself and this blog on a silver platter, for everyone to see. No turning back now.

To side track:

I also had a problem spelling psyche, and had to, once again, consult google. Needless to say, my spelling (and grammar) ha! can be quite horrid sometimes. This is something I really struggle with while writing assignments. Well, another goal leads to motivation to keep this blog seemingly alive.

Also, I don’t write this blog for any form of audience but myself. So, there won’t be any ‘i hate you, I love you’ posts about people in my lives. Just to make things clear, because I know people around me who crave gossip, but you won’t find any here. So, for those who come with that intent, move along. Nothing you would see here that might spark any interests.

Til next time, (this never gets old.)

Pushing my thoughts into words instead of pulling my words from my thoughts.